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Monday, November 16th, 2009
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http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/16/mind-your-manors/ http://cuteoverload.com/?p=35079 This week, on “Lifestyles of the Prosh and Redonkulous,” we visit Monteigh Hall, home of toenail-clipper heiress Lady Propecia Monteigh Phipps-Gargle.
The stately mansion overlooking the Floofitania River, home to generations of her ancestors, is currently under the exacting watch and care of this dynamic doyenne.
From hosting gala balls, to her designer shoelace empire, to romantic getaways with princes and movie stars, this jet-setter is always on the move and in the know.
But her most important role is doting mother. Here we join Lady Propecia during her weekly visit with daughter Phoebe, cared for by her faithful nanny Hannah.
And finally, we bid farewell to Lady Propecia in her boudoir. “This is where my heart is,” she explains, “where I unwind from the stress of my impossibly perfect life.”
Absolutely fabulous, Melanie H.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Pocket Pets       |
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Sunday, November 15th, 2009
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moonlighttiptoe
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Ok, so I said I'd write a note concerning my totally bizarre dream. First of all, I just want to note that there were 3 faces I saw that I didn't already know. Seeing the face of someone I don't know is very rare in my dreams, and I usually meet someone that looks exactly like them later. Seeing 3 people... and seeing them in as much detail and for as long as I did is unheard of for me. Also, I saw the whole dream in very vivid color. It's said that people don't dream in color, and I very rarely (if ever) notice color in my dreams. So this was very peculiar. Any way... it's long, but here it is:
I started off at Jarrow (where I used to work) and Chris was giving me shit about something or other, and I was getting very aggravated and something he said hit a memory and I was transported into being in the middle of a very fancy audition with 3 other people. It was more like a performance. We had a high quality set, lighting, props, everything. But it was an audition. And it was an original play that was written by the two male characters, called "The Proposal"... nothing like the movie. The characters were myself, two guys with their faces covered in thick white powder (these are 2 of the faces I'd never seen before), and another very pretty brunette girl (who's face I never saw clearly). So, we'll call the 2 guys "Man 1" and "Man 2" to keep them clear. My character was in love with Man 1, but both Man 1 and Man 2 are in love with the brunette, who is supposedly a nurse. Neither of the men speak much... they are silent like mimes, but without all the gestures with invisible props. Man 1 hurts himself to get into a hospital so that the nurse may take care of him. But when he gets to the hospital, he sees Man 2 dressed as a doctor, with the brunette woman accompanying him. Then Man 1 sees the cameras and lights, and realizes she is an actress, not a nurse, and he is stunned to know his best friend, Man 2, is an actor and he is crushed by how false his reality was. Meanwhile, my character has been watching, and falling more and more in love with Man 1. Then the 2 women (myself included) go to one side of the room, and the 2 men go to the other side of the room and argue over one another to come up with a proposal about what their ordeal all meant. But the scene ends with no answers, just people talking over one another. Meanwhile, my dream self has fallen in love with Man 1 for real, but feels that pursuing someone who was a love interest in fiction is silly.
So the 2 men and I leave the stage and are packing up our things. The men have both wiped off their faces and, while there is still quite a bit of power on their faces, I can see them much clearer. And we chat for a minute, and we realize the room we are in (which is set up like a large holding or catering area) is full of stage moms with their little girls dressed up the the girl from The Grudge and they start their auditions of singing a silly song as the Grudge girl. Creepy. The last name is called to audition and it's the 2 Asian guys not dressed up (and obviously not little girls for that matter) and they push play on a boom box and they both start doing a really horrible dance with one mouthing the words and the other one singing back up. It was horrible and not at all funny. It was just awkward bc it was obviously a prank, but a very stupid one. Meanwhile both their mothers (which look basically identical and are the other clear face I saw) were darting about the guys taking pictures and clapping and all this other nonsense. Then their act ended and I began to leave.
On my way out, someone handed me a card, larger than a business card and smaller than a postcard, but it was apparently for a club. It had a very blurry fluorescent pink and green skull on it. And I thought it was weird that it was so blurry. But I headed back to my apartment with the card in hand.
My apartment was set up very similar to my old apt in Westwood, but I was living with Julie. The color of the apartment were all much richer and darker. I go into my room, and turn on the light, which is a UV light and I look down at the card and it is a devil with 3 or 4 naked women in chains. Now, after I woke up I was disturbed by what was on the card, but in the dream I was excited that I'd seen something on the card that most people would never see, unless they knew it was there. It was like an awesome secret I'd stumbled upon.
I went into the kitchen (all the cabinets were dark wood and the walls were a dark rich yellow... it was very warm and home-like), and I notice one of my walls is missing. And where there was a wall, were people setting up a museum exhibit in the near-dark. I realized one of these people was Man 1 that had been at the audition with me. He has no powder on at all, and his scene partner, Man 2, was there as well. When I asked what they were doing, they said their "day job" was setting up museum exhibits. And I got super-excited that I was going to have a museum next door... and I had to run out the front door of this soon-to-be-open museum to really see it was true. And it was! The outside was bright yellow and orange and it was going to be some sort of history museum. I run back in and I grab Man 1 and tell him I have to show him the skull card. I show him, but there's a little too much light, and in dim light, the card looks like a drunken middle-aged man in a Hawaiian t-shirt with a couple of hot brunettes dressed in black. And I'm like "No! That's not what I wanted to show you." So I had to take him into my room with the UV light to show him. He seemed mildly impressed and I walked him back over to the kitchen so he could go back to work. As he went back into the museum, he said "Hey, didn't you have a bathroom or something over here before?" And I remember "Yeah, I had a bathroom and another bedroom." And he says, "maybe you should talk to your landlord about getting a new wall." And I'm like "Yeah, and I need to find out if he'll give us a cheaper rent now that out spare room is no longer there." And the dream ended with me dialing the landlord's phone # to see if I could get a cheaper rent.
THE END
Holy crap that was long!
Ok... and some non-dream stuff:
If you haven't read the Penelope Cruz article from last month's Vanity Fair. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but maybe I've missed the really good work she's done. Anyway, it's definitely a testament to what a hard worker she is.
Also, I nice little quote from Johnny Cash... when asked for his idea of paradise, he replied "This morning, with her, having coffee." Which reminds me that I still need to see Walking the Line. How have I not seen that yet?
PS-- Has anyone heard any reviews about Paul Rueben's PeeWee Reprise at the Music Box? I'm wondering how well it's doing...
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Monday, November 16th, 2009
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Sunday, November 15th, 2009
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lipsandhips
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kaitlin and i just tried to make a zine based on okcupid personals. it sort of worked. then she prematurely expired on the couch. (i hope she is okay). <---is that correct grammar? (stephanie?)
(i will share our results one day. if there can be a http://naomihulahoops.com/, there can be a http://kbzines2krule.com
i wonder what zoey deschanel and ben gibbard are like in real life.
i potentially really like her cotton commercials.
i also really really love that country-singing dancer-with-the-stars: julianne hough. i maybe also love her brother and can't wait to see who wins the finale but thats just me!
hey guys i can't wait to get back to the country. somehow everything seems more sound there. remember that idea for a commune built from friends that everyone has? why doesn't that happen more often? not for nothing, its a really excellent idea. i think now denise may be mentally on-board. (denise?) i also have some feeling i could get luke barber-smith to be a true participant.
i hope you all know, i am a very sentimental person.
a lot of ideas are glitter in the snowglobe of my life. i guess if you become my eighth subscriber you'll get a backstage tour?
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Saturday, November 14th, 2009
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lipsandhips
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here i am!
feeling like i should blog because the genius lightning has been striking me all day but now that i'm here i'm having performance anxiety or something. sorry y'allz!
another secret i will share: last night i wrote in my real paper journal. i hadn't done that since sometime in july after i returned from my minnesota drive. i really had the zest for it last night, putting the pen to the paper was feeling actually so excellent and i think i managed to scrawl a whole three pages (front and back!). mostly it was filling in my journal with my life changes since i last wrote, of which there are many, but i also noted how i feel less creative and less intellectual and less of most things here in the city. on the one hand i have my friends around me now, and better food, and generally more happenings; but on the other i do not have nature. i do not have silence. i do not have rejuvenating sleep. i do not have music SO LOUD and a big oven and a big fridge filled with treats. and trees and snow and leaves and birds and woodchucks lookin in my door!
today i feel so restless and i may have to break out buns of steel volumes 1-3 just to work off some of this crazy energy i have. that would probably be quite the wise child idea. maybe i will play some games of solitaire with actual cards. wowwwww. or maybe i will do laundry? paint my toenails? take a shower? vacuum? dust? sweep? fluff pillows? hang pictures? water plants? watch movies? take a yoga class? play piano? become a trapeze artist??
now that i've done such a crackerjack job of convincing you all of my genius, i think its time to go.
(and thanks to jiwon for snapping that picture of us three girls in the lovely light all searching in our giant bags for something at the very same time)
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ms_douchebag
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ms d0uchebag: i hate planes, tom
ms d0uchebag: i think they're intensely uninteresting
Choir0fRavens: not all scifi is about planes
Choir0fRavens: but starwars is
ms d0uchebag: mechanized technology in general
ms d0uchebag: too much
ms d0uchebag: and space travel
Choir0fRavens: thats true
Choir0fRavens: in Dune they mostly fight with knives though
ms d0uchebag: yeah
ms d0uchebag: that's why i like dune
ms d0uchebag: and there's all the power-of-the-mind type shit
ms d0uchebag: that's awesome
ms d0uchebag: but lasers and all that completely kill my arousal
Choir0fRavens: what about penis shaped lasers?
ms d0uchebag: on a conceptual level, all lasers are phallic
ms d0uchebag: lasers are symptomatic of patriarchy
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Friday, November 13th, 2009
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http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/13/have-you-lost-your-marbles/ http://cuteoverload.com/?p=34985 Were they a sparkly, shiny, impossibly perfect shade of green? If so, “Soupie” is using them for eyes, and you can’t have them back, so neener. But what you can have (and you may want to take a step back, lest the cuteness knock you clean out of your cubicle) is the jaw-dropping, heart-stopping power of the…
CUTE OVERLOAD ULTRA-EXTREME EYE, NOSE, AND TINY TOOF-HANCE!
Photo by Ryan F., submitted by Janna V.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Kittens       |
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/13/theres-a-new-chef-in-town/ http://cuteoverload.com/?p=34628 First of all, just looking around in here, I can tell that I’m gonna need the 12-quart stock pot. It will run you about 600 bones, but I don’t want to hear it. Oh, don’t give me that look – I’ll have my sous chef wash out the pot.
Second, what’s with the beans? Don’t get me wrong, I’m brilliant, so I’ll be able to whip up something exquisite for your guests, but where’s the veg? Would something a little leafy in the pantry kill you? And don’t get me started on your electric cook top. I don’t know how you expect me to cook in these conditions.
Joan of Arc Spicy Chili Beans, Kate O.?
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: I'm Going To Eat You, Unusual animals       |
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/13/i-am-noti-disorganized/ http://cuteoverload.com/?p=35001 Seriously, I’m so organized, it’s scary:
- I always wash myself in a set pattern (right leg, left leg, right arm, left arm);
- I sort my dead mousies by length, then by color, then by tail-to-torso ratio;
- I sleep in the same sunbeam every day, using a weighted algorithm factoring seasonal solar variance against known shade points to determine each day’s optimum floor position and angle of exposure.
So why do people keep saying I’m disorganized?
I dunno, Pam W., just a feeling.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Kittens       |
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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lipsandhips
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but i know this video is SO AWKWARD
SORRY IF I KILLED YOU
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Thursday, November 12th, 2009
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http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/12/mabels-birthday-conundrum/ http://cuteoverload.com/?p=34950 … and so, Mabel settled down in the straw and enjoyed the new scarf her older brother had given her. But still, her brother’s knowing smirk filled Mabel’s mind with troubling questions. For instance, why was she dressed just like a baby? And why was there a baby dressed just like a lamb earlier that week? But these doubts paled next to the most worrisome question of all…
Was this scarf knitted from someone I know?
Spotted at the Bendigo Sheep and Wool Festival in Victoria Australia by kelebek. More here.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Hoofers       |
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Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
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http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/11/oh-ill-wait/ http://cuteoverload.com/?p=34854 Heeerrrrrre, birdie, birdie, birdie. At some point, you’re going to need a drink of this niiiice water I brought you. Maybe not in the next minute, maybe not in the next hour. But I’ve got alllllll day, boys, and you’re the only thing on my calendar.
The early cat gets the bird, Karen M.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Birds, Danger, I'm Going To Eat You, Kittens       |
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http://cuteoverload.com/2009/11/11/whoa-i-am-so-strung-out-man/ http://cuteoverload.com/?p=34845 The piano is my forte, and I love to lie down in it,
It suits my laid-back at-etude, I don’t care how you spinet.
When I’m keyed up, can’t stay upright, life’s tempo gets too taxing,
I lie for just a minuet, and presto! I’m relaxing.
I’m never too Bizet to take a nap where notes are rolling,
When melodies float like the breeze, this console’s quite consoling.
So play whatever song you like; Chopsticks to Clair de Lune-a,
For where there’s a piano, I expect piano tuna.
We all octave a kitty like that, Kristina V.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Kittens       |
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Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
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lipsandhips
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okay let me set this up for you:
1) linda ronstadt
2) hank williams cover
3) barefoot
4) mini dress
5) late 60's dancing
do yourself a favor and give this a looksee:
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bigmouthinacoma's Friends Page
quixotic.
